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Montpéllier – 15th January 1850
To Mr B R
Beloved Brother
I thank you very much for your little letter and the affection of which it was the testimony, affection which is precious to me indeed. I am better, but the cause of my illness is always there. God knows if this will disappear, or if I will carry it to the end, with this poor body of sin which gives rise to it. Whatever it be, I am happy and rest with an unspeakable sweetness the work of Him who has loved me and who loves me with a perfect and eternal love.
As to our dear Sp, I believe that he is a bit mystical, or rather that the German sort have a tendency in their personal character which tends always to look entirely within, to be occupied with the effect of grace, that is to say with self, instead of the object of faith and the source of grace: with God Himself and the Saviour who has loved us. It is an incorrigible evil of the heart, because a [certain] faithfulness is made of it, and, at the bottom, they like to be occupied with self, if they can call this occupation devoutness. Satan indeed makes fun of it, and those who are like that judge others as being Antinomians and unfaithful, as taking the thing lightly, while, indeed, it is themselves that have altogether too good an opinion of themselves. In short, such as I am, I am necessarily lost; seeing that God says I should be so; I acknowledge that His judgment is necessary. However, while making an abstraction of mysticism, I believe (you will be surprised by this) that Sp is right – not in the way he envisages it, but in fact. There is, I believe, a knowledge of oneself before God, besides conscience of sins. The poor Canaanite woman knew her misery and sought a cure from Jesus, but the Lord puts her on this terrible ground for the heart, of being in the presence of the blessing, knowing what it is, and deprived of right to participate in it. She was not precisely guilty of this or that thing, but because of what she was and of what the blessing was, she could not have part in it. The love of God was the full answer to this state, and it is thus only as He is known in His own purity, in His free gift, in His sovereign goodness, that He is known as He is, pure and absolute, God Himself being revealed in this love, such as He is. That is why the faith of the poor woman is acknowledged as being great, because she sees what God is, through the consciousness of what she is herself. Mystics consider this to be a state of soul and, as a result, are seeking for it in a true spirit of their own righteousness. Faith enjoys it as a revelation of God. It is what has been given to me, morally weak as I am, a joy and an unspeakable pleasure during my illness and before. This was not pardon for sins; for I do not doubt it, and I recognise the infinite grace which has pardoned them freely, pure grace towards me, unworthy sinner, and this by the precious Saviour, but I could not rest in One who has done these things without thinking of Him directly. For, for this, one has to recognise oneself as a little dog, and not only recognise one’s sins; and this is what makes peace solid and permanent, because it is in God. I believe that the most part of Christians are not there. It is (although not the only thing) what indeed makes sincere Christians have such conflict on their death beds. They have not been themselves before God. It is not that grace has not acted, it is not they have not sincerely recognised their sins, recognised that the blood of Christ alone can wash them; but they have not truly been led to say: “O wretched man that I am, who will deliver me?”[1] – in result, yes, and they are resting there; but as to the fact of being with the source – that is to say, oneself before God in judgment – no. Look at Job. Grace had acted in him; in the eyes of God Himself, there was not his like on earth. He had never really been in the presence of God himself. This is not to say that a man is not regenerate[2], or that he is not justified. One can be all this and feel the goodness of God, but in personal relation with God, one has not said, finding oneself such as one is before him: “Now mine eye seeth thee”[3]. This experience can happen in various ways: 1) at the beginning, when one is under the law; 2) after a long Christian life, with long exercises or more peace. A mixture of one or the other, it may be. But its true result is not mysticism; it is really the destruction of it, when it is complete. The mystic contemplates himself; and that is his trouble. He speaks of himself, and a ruined self is much better for me, as a God who makes us be forgotten. How can one remember oneself in the presence of God? God can make me feel what I am to lead me into His presence, He can call me a little dog, and I acknowledge it, but faith sees nothing else there than all that God is, even for such a being. Madame de Krüdener[4], of whom our dear friend Eynard has published a biography[5], was only there on her death bed, and then she judged all her preceding life. But it is God alone who can do this work. It is necessary, in confessing one’s sins, to relate to His grace who pardons us, and to walk under His eye with full confidence in Him. One cannot put oneself in this moral struggle with God; one must not do it; it is too true that we are little dogs to be able to do it. When He does it, He knows how to sustain the soul, as in the case of the Canaanitish woman, or in the case of Jacob, although He stopped himself yet mystically at the blessing as happens for a time.
It is a serious and important subject, dear brother. However, let us always hold to the simplicity of God’s grace. The one who has passed there, while having, as before, his battles with himself and with his flesh, is much more stripped of himself, has more discernment of what is judged of man in him, and of God; the outward life, however active it is, takes less importance, and God is more the all in all. Outwardly, this Christian may be much the same, but at bottom he is not; man has taken his true value in his eyes. He has more communion with his brethren, but at the same time he is more isolated, that is to say more with God. It is what Christ was perfectly, because there was nothing to strip away in Him.
Peace be with you, dear brother. If you still have some thoughts on this, write to me. As to the defection of our brother E, I am not surprised. I cannot say more, save for him in charity, than that this has pained me. He knew himself very little, or at all. God has allowed that he should be a great blessing, I believe, to his wife. I knew her for many years, and her family too.
I have a good letter from our dear N at T, and I have written to him. The joy of the assembly and the grace that our Lord gives them are my joy, dear brother, and a grace which He shows to me. I am with them in Spirit. May He keep them near to Him in humility and in the joy of His presence. Many greetings to T, G and F (I have received a card from him; I have been too ill to reply to it), E and all the brethren. D M is, I suppose, always at V. Also greet affectionately, besides C, C and all the others than I cannot call by name. I have still thought of taking my journey in Switzerland, if God allows me to do it. It is possible that my state of weakness will put back it to a fairer season for crossing the Jura, but not for long, I think. Apart from several visits, I do not reckon to find my field of work here. Nîmes will probably call me later. But before that I think – God alone knows – to go to Switzerland.
Yours very affectionately
[1] Rom 7: 24
[2] As noted in No 18 of the Articles, JND sometimes uses the words ‘regenerate’ or ‘regeneration’ as equivalents of ‘being born again’ (as in John 3). But, as he explains in many other places when expounding the sense of these words more accurately, they are not the same. The Greek word παλιχχευεία (palingenesiá) occurs only in Matthew 19: 28 and Titus 3: 5, where it is translated ‘regeneration’, and means ‘passing from one state, that of ruin, into another and new state of things’ (Collected Writings, vol 13, p213).
[3] Job 42: 5
[4] Baroness Barbara Juliane von Krüdener (22 Nov 1764 – 25 Dec 1824) was a Baltic German religious mystic and author. She had an influence on the Swiss Réveil
[5] Jean-Gabriel Eynard wrote a two volume biography of Madame von Krüdener